Hey, Football Head
by Arsonny
Summary: After a horrible accident, he was left in a coma. She figured that the only way to gain his forgiveness, was through letters. So, from that day on, she wrote.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Um, so I decided to write a story. But I kind of wrote this at like 2 A.M and its short but whatever. The idea seemed cool at first okay? But yah I hope it's not too bad, im kind of iffy with it but whatever. (sweats nervously)**

Wide eyes, screaming, broken tears. Rough hands, blurred vision, crimson. Red on the street, red on her hands, red on _him_. Red, red, red.

People accusing; trembling legs, arms, lips. Sirens. Shaken apologies, more screams, more tears. Red was the color that painted the whole town. Blood. Fresh, seeping, pooling.

Darkness.

Her eyes flew open, wide and unnerved. Silent tears fell from those eyes, clear and cold. Her heart was racing, pounding in her chest. Her breaths were fast and ragged, searching for air to reach the lungs. She clenched her shaking fists. A dream. _No, a living nightmare_. She had went through that event. It was real.

She knew she would have to go and see him, that day. And every day after it. She would do it, because she owed it to him. She owed him everything. More angry tears fell, but she had to suck it up. Pretend as if everything were okay, as if life were the same and she was herself. But it wasn't okay, life would never be the same, and she'd never be 'herself'. Whoever that was, at least. Yet, she forced herself to believe her own lies. She forced herself to believe that it wasn't her fault. _But it was._

The alarm clock on her bedside table read 6:37 A.M. She would be ready.

...

She tried her hardest to avoid their stares, but it was impossible. They were teary, apologetic, _hoping_. Inside, she was falling apart.

The grandmother was the first to speak up. Strangely enough, she seemed to be the calmest one in the room. "Eleanor, dear! Im glad you came to see the prince." Her voice was gentle, endearing. There was no sorrow in that voice.

"Uh, hello... Gertie, was it?" Her own voice was not gentle, it was nervous. _Unconfident_. She was already softening up, and she found herself growing angry again. _Stop, you idiot. Criminy, quit acting so broken. You know nothing of what it feels like_. But she did. She had broken herself.

When all she got in return was a smile, she continued. "So... how is he?" She forced herself not to look at the young man, laying unconscious on the hospital bed, and instead gestured towards him.

"Shortman's a strong one, I'm sure he's holding up." The grandfather cut in. He was not smiling. "A pretty lucky boy he is, also. Most people usually get worse than a coma-"

So he was in a coma. _I put him in a damn coma. How could anything be worse? He's practically dead. In soul, I've killed him. He's good as gone._

"By the way, who are you again? Aren't you that friend with the oversized pink bow?" The grandpa asked, scratching the top of his head. The Sunset Arms boarders had long since stopped staring at her. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Uh, yeah, _friend_," _Lies_. "Um, I'll just wait outside until you guys-"

"It's fine, dear, we were just about to leave." Gertie interrupted, still smiling. The grandfather let out a small sigh, walking over to his grandson and taking his limp hand. She watched from the corner of her eye. "I'll see you later, Shortman." He said while giving the hand a small squeeze. The rest of the boarders gave him small goodbyes, while Gertie ushered them out of the room. She turned back, looking at her grandson, and her eyes softened. "Goodnight, Kimba. Eleanor here will take good care of you. We'll see you soon."

And with that, she closed the door.

Letting out a small breath, the girl ran her fingers through her long strands of blonde hair. _They don't know. They don't know it was me who did this. Just a few days ago, his blood was on my hands. _

Finally allowing herself to look at him, her gaze landed on the teen laying on the bed. His tanned skin was pale under all the lights, his bright green orbs were hidden beneath closed lids, and his golden stalks of hair were matted. She felt herself shiver at the sight, but she couldn't look away. Instead, she slowly walked up to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He look frighteningly peaceful. _Are_ _you_ _really at peace? Do you realize that I've practically taken the life from you? Do you... do you know how sorry I am?_

She couldn't touch him. Instead, she sat herself next to his sleeping form, uncomfortably squirming in the wooden chair. Her eyes traveled to the small table attached to his bed, which had a small notebook and pencil on it. Curiously, she picked up the notebook. _It's not right to look into his stuff, you know_. She opened it anyways.

All of the pages were blank. _It's just a regular notebook_. _Who would leave this here?_ She decided to use it as a distraction. Picking up the pencil, she wrote the date at the top of the first page. Her eyes glanced up at him, he stayed the same. She sighed.

_I'll make it up to him, somehow. If I cant talk to him now, I'll do to on paper. _She softened her gaze on him_. I'll write him every day. And when he wakes up, hopefully, he will find a way to forgive me. Forgive me for turning him into a fucking vegetable. Forgive me for killing him._

With a small nod, she let the pencil flow onto the paper.

_February 7th, 2014,_

_Hey, Football Head. It's been a few days since you've been admitted into the hospital. I guess you can say it's been different, not having you around. I wouldn't say I miss that goodie two shoes personality of yours, but it gets a little lonely, having no one to look on the bright side for us._

_Don't flatter yourself, Mr. Optimistic. Im just saying it as it is cause... I don't know, I feel bad. I mean, we had this bomb ass pizza at lunch, yesterday. You said something about liking pizza once, so I thought of you. Hey, it's not like I _wanted _to remember or anything! It just kind of stuck with me, okay?_

_Anyways, I hope your not having too much fun in that head of yours. There are people that really miss you, ya know. You should wake up soon, they're kind of worried. Im not one of those people, of course. I just come here cause... I feel like I have to. Im not heartless, after all._

_Well, I'll see ya around, Football Head. It's cold as hell and I don't have a jacket._

_The-girl-you-probably-hate-right-now,_

_Helga._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yooo, new chapter already! And wow, I'm getting reviews? Thank you all for the sweet reviews, im so flattered, really. ;-;**

**uhh, I don't want this whole story to be a total angst fest, with Helga being super depressed and all. I dunno, it doesn't fit her personality. and uh, more will be revealed of what happened in the next chapter, hopefully. thanks again for reading, guys. i just finished writing this and it's like 12 o'clock. goodnight c:**

_**February 8th, 2014**_

_Hey again, Football Head. Geraldo was in here this morning, and he looked kind of pissed. Hah. Do you think he's mad at me? Your friends have all been giving me those kind of looks. Like, 'It's your fault he's in there' looks. I guess that's true though, right? I just hope you're not mad at me. Hate isn't something that suits you._

_And, yesterday, I was kind of feeling guilty and crap and... I just wanna say, I'm sorry. Because, knowing you, you'll probably freak out when you first wake up because your grades will most likely be shit. But don't worry about that, Football Head. Me and Phoebe have you covered. Oh, and by the way, Phoebe came to visit you today, too. She left you these super gorgeous flowers also, so you better hurry and wake up so you can see them. Personally, I'm not a flower person, but they are absolutely stunning._

_And hey, I'm kind of wondering... what do you _do_, while your unconscious? Do you dream, like a normal sleeping person? Do you get nightmares?_

She stopped herself from writing '_Well, I do_'. It felt wrong being so open with him, over a letter. In fact, she was never really open with him in the first place. It was mostly because she pretended to hate him, most of her life.

_Ok, ok. Enough with the personal stuff. I already feel weird talking to a piece of freaking paper. So you better read these letters, alright? Because I'm not writing them for nothing. _

_Well, I gotta get going. Sleep tight, alright Football Head? Alright._

_The-girl-who-is-sort-of-sorry,_

_Helga._

She smiled at that last part. It was much more easier to talk to him through letters, rather than in person. Talking to him always resulted in them getting into arguments, big and small. As kind and as sweet as the boy was, he was rather stubborn. _I guess we are kind of alike, in a way. We don't give up so easily._

"That's why I'm not giving up on you, Football Head. I hope you'll forgive me. In return, you can keep fighting, too." She whispered her thoughts, brushing a strand of hair from his face. Even like this, he seemed like an angel.

A sigh escaped her lips as she stood, taking one last look at him. Yesterday, she had been so _afraid_ of seeing him. _I can get through this. Maybe everything really will get back to normal, as well. But, I'll be sure to be nicer. I'll treat him like the heavenly prince that he is, he deserves it._

"Goodnight, Arnold. Im sorry."

And the room was silent after the opening and shutting of the door.

...

_"If you _hate _me so much, why do you even bother?" He asked aggravatingly, throwing his hands in the air to emphasize his thoughts. He was so, so tired of it all._

_"Because," She said, her voice dripping with venom. That was all he needed to know._

_"Because why? I know you, Helga. But I don't _understand _you. One minute, you're all smiley and sweet, and the next, you're all hostile and angry. _Why_, Helga? Why do you hide?" His eyes held betrayal. All he wanted was for her to trust him. _Don't hide from me.

_"You don't know _anything_, Football Head! So stop acting like you do." Her whole body was shaking. _Stop_. Her mind screamed. _Take it back, let him in. Let him know he means the world to you.

_"So why don't you tell me, huh? Help me understand." His eyes started to express determination. She shook even more under his fiery gaze. _Arnold, Im sorry. I love you, Im so sorry.

_"I can't," It was the truth. "Criminy, Arnold, your such an idiot, I-" She ran a hand through her tangled locks, looking anywhere but at him. "I don't need to be understood. What I _need _is for you quit sticking your nose where it doesn't belong! Maybe I have problems. Maybe Im not perfect. But I don't need you to come in like the fucking hero you think you are and save me! You know why? Because I don't need to be saved," Her voice was growing weaker. _Save me, Arnold. Save me.

_"And I don't need you."_

...

"I swear, the last thing I needed was to pay for some orphan kids hospital bill. What the _hell_ were you thinking, Olga?" Her father asked angrily, getting up from his worn-out armchair.

"You think I wanted this to happen, Bob? I didn't _ask_ for any of this. _Criminy_! Besides, you have shit tons of money, anyways. It's not like you were gonna use it with an actual _purpose_." She spat, clenching her reddening fists at her sides.

"_Bullshit_! I worked my ass off for that money. Who pays the bills in this house, huh? Who buys you new clothes, and food, and puts a roof over your head? Because it sure as hell isn't Miriam." He retorted, folding his arms. _You're always right in the end, aren't you, asshole? You always have the last word._

"You have some nerve, bringing that up. If you haven't noticed, I'm your _daughter_. It would be nice if you, oh, _I don't know_, acknowledge my presence for once! What you've got in your bank account doesn't mean _shit_ to me. We could be _homeless_ for all I care, maybe then for once you'd realize my name is Helga! Not your precious, awarding winning, piano playing, perfect Olga. _Helga_."

His mouth hung open. It was quiet for a moment, until she realized he wasn't going to speak. "Oh, got nothing to say, _old man_? Does the truth hurt? Cause I've been hurting for a while, now. In fact, you could say I've been feeling this way since the day I was born. Are you bothered by the fact that your family isn't perfect? Because pretending I don't exist won't help you."

Before he even had the chance to speak up, she had rushed past him, grabbing her purse in the process. She was fuming. With a marching stride, she maneuvered her way out the door, and into the crisp, cold, afternoon air.

...

_**February 9th, 2014**__,_

_How's life, Arnoldo? Is it treating you good? Because it's been pretty shitty to me, today. Criminy, I really want to punch something. You think the nurses would get mad if I broke a couple of things?_

_The human race itself is just a huge group of unhappy, ungrateful, barbaric _morons _who think the way to making it in life is treating everyone like shit. Is that how you see me, Arnold? You always seem to think that there's more to me than the egotistical asshat that I am. So, have you gotten your answer? Is there really more to me than that?_

_I keep bombarding you with questions, don't I? I guess I'm sorry for that too, then. If you couldn't tell, I'm really pissed the hell off. And it certainly isn't the first time this has happened, either. But.. you wouldn't really understand, would you? Hey, when you wake up, how about trying to walk mile in my shoes, eh? _Then _maybe you'll understand._

_Criminy, Im getting personal again, aren't I? Don't get too used to it, Football Head. I just have no one to rant to, right now. And I'm still pissed. You know what, I think the school counselors were wrong about me having anger issues. I have every damn right to be mad right now, Arnold! Maybe I'll tell you about it when you're awake. So, hurry up and get to it, alright? Its not every day I'm so willing to talk to you._

_Alright, well... nothing much else happened today, so I guess I'll stop writing. Have a good time in dream land, okay? Hell, you probably are having the time of your life._

_Oh so deeply and sincerely,_

_Helga._

She snorted at her closing, tossing the notebook onto the wooden chair. In a way, it had helped cool down some of her anger. _Maybe, I should keep a diary with me, from now on. Talking to paper has never felt so refreshing._

But, it wasn't the paper she was talking to. It was Arnold.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow guys, I am on a **_**roll**_**. Thanks again for the favorites, follows, and reviews! I'm like so flustered right now because wow! reviews!**

**Also, just as a heads up, the parts that are in italics are memories from the past. I know it's confusing, since the letters are also in italics, but I put the dates in bold, so you know its a letter. God, I really am not that happy with this chapter but I have no other way of revising it so here you go. K, I'll stop talking. See you soon, loves. ;-;**

_**February 10th, 2014,**_

_Hey there, Football Head. Guess what happened today? I got a whole _hour _of detention. Wow, _yay me_. That's why I came so late today. But I guess you wouldn't have noticed either way, huh? Long story short; don't hide Ms. Lavinsky's lesson plans. Believe me, I've _learned _my lesson. Criminy, she's like the devil in woman's clothing. Sneaky bastard._

_But, you know what? I've actually been able to hold my good mood today. I don't know what it is, but I feel somewhat... refreshed. You know, like the feeling you get after taking a nice, long shower? Yah, that kind of feeling. _

_Oh! Almost forgot to mention; sorry for acting like a total shit-stain yesterday, I was obviously in a bad mood. You should know better than anyone not to mess with me when I'm like that, eh? _

_Whoops, that was uncalled for. But what do you expect from me, Football Head? Im not exactly a _saint_. Ha. I can just picture you laughing at that, somehow. You always find ways to lighten up the mood. Or make a complete dork of yourself. Either way, it's kind of endearing._

_Anyways, you got a card from a certain someone. Remember Mr. Simmons, our 4th grade teacher? Yah, I'm guessing he dropped it off earlier today. It's a really touching card too, Arnold. You should wake up so you can read it. I know you're into that over-emotional stuff._

_So, I guess that concludes today. Oh! By the way, I've been watering the flowers Phoebe got you. They're as beautiful as ever. Mind if I take one? Hah, I'm just joking with you, Football Head. I took a few pictures of them, though. In case some of them die before you wake up._

_The-girl-in-a-good-mood-for-some-reason,_

_Helga._

...

The world whirled past her, blurring into the background as her legs carried her forward. The wind blew her long locks of hair behind her, tangling them in the process. All her mind told her to do was run. _Run, run, run. Run from your problems. Run from your life._

She found herself coming towards a dead end. _No. They're coming. Run, fly, survive. Escape the truth. Surround yourself in lies._

The sound of footsteps came from behind her, coming closer and closer. _Louder_. She snapped her head around, only to be met with a pair of sparkling, green orbs. They were wild, fierce, _angry_. She froze in place, her lips sealed shut and her arms limp at her sides.

"What kind of fool do you take me for?" He asked, his voice ringing with piano keys and chiming bells. Shivers ran down her spine, and her breath hitched in her throat. _No_. Her mind screamed.

_Dark is the one that lies. Deceivingly dark, broken but twisted. Dark are your lies, lies, lies._

"Look at what you have done to me!" He screamed, and a million voices screamed with him. He pulled at his torn clothing frustratingly. "Tell me, do I deserve this?"

"No." She squeaked. Her voice was small. _Weak_. "_No_, you don't. I'm sorry, Arnold. _I'm so sorry_." She reached out to touch him, but he slapped her hand away, hissing. _Dark is the blood that runs through your veins. Dark lies, pouring blood and lies. _

"How can you _expect_ me to forgive _you_?" His voice was rising. Vibrant colors swirled in his pooling eyes, unafraid. "_Liar_. When will you learn to tell the truth? I do not want your lies." The instruments grew louder, along with his fiery voice. She gulped.

Then, suddenly, he was fading. "No!" She yelled, trying to reach for him again. "I.. I'm sorry Arnold! I really, truly, _deeply_ am! Please, don't go. Help me. _Help me_." But it was no use. He was gone, and she was falling. _Death by the blood of your lies. See, feel, touch, breathe. Blood-stained is the numbness that encases you._

There was darkness.

Awakening with a jolt, she wiped the cold sweat off of her forehead. The last time she had woken up like this, she had also experienced a nightmare. A nightmare about _him_. But, this time, there were no tears. Letting out a long sigh, she pulled at her matted hair. What had the dream even _meant_? Trying to bring her breathing back to a normal rate, she emotionally checked herself. But strangely, there was nothing. She only felt numbness.

A small cough rang out from her lungs, and into the open. _I saw him. Those were his eyes. His beautiful, strong, stunning eyes. But why? Why must he invade my dreams? Oh, Arnold. Could it be, that you truly feel that way?_

Sighing again, she pulled her legs up to her chest. It was going to be a long day.

...

_**February 11th, 2014,**_

_Hey, Arnold. Wanna know something? I'm really, _really _sorry. I'm so sorry, I just... I don't know what to do, Arnold. Please, just wake up. I'll admit it, I'll admit that I miss you. Hell, I miss you a lot. Just do me a favor and come back to the land of living, alright? I'm sorry._

_See what you're doing to me, Football Head? I get it. It's my fault, I just... I feel like crap about it. I could have done something. I _should _have done something. Everyone misses you, you know? And it's all my fault. Just please, wake up. They need you. _

She couldn't write any more. Her whole being was a shaking mess. With a small gulp, she closed off the short letter.

_Sincerely,_

_Helga_.

...

_"Oh come on, Football Head. You can't be serious." She said, feigning slight disgust._

"_C'mon, Helga. We both know we've past the 'bully and victim' relationship. Admit it, you consider me a friend." He said, giving her one of his famous, shit-eating grins. She hated it when he got cocky._

_Scoffing, she turned her face away from his, trying to hide the slight blush dusting her cheeks. "As _if_. I still hate your guts, Arnoldo. Sometimes, I just happen to go a little soft on you. Don't take it so personally." She heard him snicker behind her, and couldn't help but smile herself. _

_"Whatever you say, Helga. I guess you're just losing your touch, then." She whirled her head back around, now facing him again. "What was that, Football Head? Choose your words wisely. Or maybe, I'll just have to let Ol' Betsie handle things for me." A scowl graced her features, trying to conceal her smirk._

_Of course, he had to laugh at that, too. "Okay, okay. I get it. _Yeesh_." His gaze trailed to the left, and he swung his legs over the railing. She did the same._

_The sky swirled with different shades of oranges, yellows, reds and purples. It was truly an amazing sight. A small sigh escaped his lips, as he let his legs dangle off the ledge. "Isn't it beautiful?" He asked, his voice laced with awe. _

_She turned to look at him, seeing the breathtaking look that graced his features. She smiled, "Yeah."_

...

"Helga, are you sure you're alright?" The petite girl asked beside her, casting her a concerned look.

"_Yes_ Pheebs, I'm _fine_. I've... I've just been thinking." She bit her lip, picking at the food that laid on her lunch tray. _Criminy, why does she have to be so observant?_

"Oh... well, it doesn't have anything to do with.. _what happened_, does it?" Her friend was still looking at her with worry in her eyes. A sigh pushed through her small, pale lips when her friend didn't reply. "Helga, I've told you already, you cant put the blame on yourself. It's not healthy, thinking this way, _and_-"

Phoebe was interrupted by Helga slamming her plastic fork onto the lunch table, quite loudly. "Thanks for the advice, _Phoebe_. But I don't need to be babied. And by _you_, no less." She turned to glare at the smaller girl, feeling anger rising in her chest. "I _get_ you're worried. But, you know what, not everything has to be about _him_. Dammit, I have other problems too!" Her fists were clenched so tight, she was afraid they would break, somehow.

Phoebe flinched at her raising voice, but did not back down. She loved her friend too much to just let this keep happening."Then... then why don't you _tell me_, Helga? What am _I_ supposed do while my best friend is practically pulling herself apart, _huh_? I... I'm tired of you always getting your way! I'm here for you, Helga. Just please, _talk to me_." Her eyes flashed with a pleading look. She looked so torn, so _helpless_.

Rubbing at her temples, Helga let out a long, tired sigh. It was hard to stay mad, when the raven haired girl had really done nothing wrong. "You're really starting to sound like him, you know? Always so persistent." It was an attempt at a joke. Suddenly, _all_ of the anger was gone, and so was her will to fight. Another sigh. "Look, Phoebe, you're right. I... I just haven't had any time to calm down for the past 24 hours, and I- I just- _ugh_." Her hands dragged down to cover her eyes. "I promise I'll tell you about it later, okay?" _Liar. Look at you, you're letting your best friend slip right through your fingers. You don't deserve her time. You don't deserve anything._

Phoebe offered a sympathetic smile, patting her friends shoulder comfortingly. "Okay, Helga." She paused, "And forgive me for the small outburst, sometimes I cant quite control myself." Her voice had returned to the quiet, calm one that it usually was. _There she is. There's the Phoebe I know._

Giving the smaller girl a reassuring glance, she allowed herself to calm down, as well. Sometimes, it was hard for her to let go. But she knew that if she didn't move forward, she would lose everything. _I cant lose Phoebe_. And, despite the emotionally tormenting voices in her head, she knew she would be okay.

...

_**February 12th, 2014,**_

_Long time no see, eh, Football Head? Well, not really. I mean, it's been a full day since my last visit. I almost wasn't going to show up today, too. But, here I am._

_Yah, let's pretend that sappy letter from yesterday never happened, alright? I just wasn't thinking straight. I had a lot on my mind, and.. you get the picture. Anyways, I've snapped out of my Debby Downer attitude, so don't expect any more of that, _ever _again. I guess you have Phoebe to thank for helping me, she's honestly the best. I can see why your old pal Geraldo likes her so much._

_By the way, there's a scheduled fieldtrip for next week. We haven't had one of those in like, forever, right? Supposedly, we're going ice-skating. Since, you know, it's still winter and crap. It's just our homeroom going, thankfully. I don't know if our whole grade could fit into a small space like that. And honestly, I wouldn't want to _try _it, either._

_So that's a summary of how things have been going. I'd write more, but I'm tired, and stupid me forgot to bring a jacket- _again_. So, your lucky this time, Arnoldo. You get to be rid of my presence early._

_The-girl-who's-about-to-pass-out-right-now,_

_Helga_.

Glancing up at the boy laying untouched in the bed, she watched the rise and fall of his chest; and suddenly, that was enough. Letting her eyes soften at his sleeping form, she gently placed the book onto his bedside table. She would get through this.

_Yeah... things will be just fine, Arnold. You'll see._

**A/N: yep so that's it for this chapter. absolutely nothing got revealed of what happened. im sorry. but, honestly, it wasnt some huge horrible thing. dont worry too much over it :')**

**and uh, yah, theres a reason for helga changing her personality so often and quickly. ive always seen her as having that sort of problem in the future, like being weirdly happy one day and the next a big ball of teenage angst. idek, i guess stuff that happens to her affects her mood or some shit. and of course she doesnt really mean it when she's an asshole. my poor, misunderstood Helga.**

**eugh, I'll stop talking now. thx for reading, my children ;/;**


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